Why do we fight?

Transgender people sometimes get into some heated arguments over who's really a transsexual and who's not. This can be extremely frustrating to people, particularly when they are just coming out. Sometimes people are having valuable discussions and they simply disagree. That's a positive thing because it helps others figure out their own opinions. I think what makes it difficult is when someone assumes that, simply because you are transgender, you should all agree on everything, or since you don't agree with something, you are not transgender.

There's a large group of folks out there who are all hung up on the idea of defining what it means to be a 'real' transsexual. That, I think, is simply male egotism - it's "I'm a better tranny than you", and it's completely unnecessary. So, if someone calls you out for being less than genuine, you're well within your right to call them a man, which is how they are acting. Trying to get respect for the choices we make is a battle we fight every day, and it's hypocritical for one of us to disrespect the way that someone else chooses to identify. If it's out of genuine concern, like for someone who's rushing into SRS and not thinking first, then by all means help that person, but don't turn it into a pissing contest. Leave that for the men.

Some people are totally fixated on surgery. They don't understand the non-op decision. They don't fathom the possibility that gender identity is about how the world sees you and how you feel inside, and not about the parts you carry around. I fully expect people to treat me as a woman the rest of my life whether I decide to have surgery or not. I like my sexual organs actually... and a good number of people will say that makes me 'not transsexual'. I have no tolerance for that viewpoint, and the associated bashing that goes along with it. I don't go around on the street asking women to prove that they have a vagina... it's nobody's business, and it does not define your gender identity - YOU define your gender identity, which is what the transgender community has been saying all along.

I've been known to disagree strongly with people about certain subjects, mostly politics, but I don't disrespect anyone's choice about how they want to identify. Admitting to yourself that you are TG is serious stuff, often quite painful, and once someone comes to that realisation, it's completely pointless and quite hurtful for others to come along and disagree with that.

I think all human beings enjoy an argument, but when the argument turns into a testosterone-fueled ego trip... well that's just wrong. We are NOT IN COMPETITION with each other... we are sisters in a really tough position. We are not going to agree on everything, but we should at least agree to respect the decisions that others make.

Take care of each other!
Jasmine

PS: People have gone so far with me as to tell me to stop using such a whorish name! How insulting is that! This is the name that hundreds of people know me by, and I realise it's not the most passable name, but jeez...